Friday, March 18, 2011

Tale of Two Titties - Part 2

It's been 2 weeks since the surgery and I am doing amazing. I'm still healing, there is still bruising, and....let me start at the beginning.

First of all I was to be at the hospital in Newmarket by 11 am. There was a sudden snow storm, severe winds and drifting. There was nothing mentioned about this storm on the news or the weather channel. My parents were supposed to drive me, and then the next day my husband was going to pick me up (this way only had to take 1 day off of work). Turns out the roads were so bad, my husband had to drive me. We live approximately 1 1/2 hours from the hospital. The drifting gave zero visibility. At one point the snow cleared and we were about 6 inches from a 5 foot ditch. This drive only added stress and anxiety to the day, but when we were south of highway 89 the blowing stopped.

All the staff at the hospital were amazing. Finally when I got into the operating room, the doctor had me stand, with nothing but my underwear, so he could draw some lines and measurements on my boobs.

I just want to set the stage for this, because unless you have a 44H chest, and your breasts hang to your navel, you would never understand the humiliation of standing there for everyone in the surgery room to see...however everyone was so kind, and the Doctor was so thoughtful.

He took a blue magic marker, he found the centre of my body, and drew a line. I told him that 'I wouldn't need anesthetic, I was getting off on the fumes from the marker". He then had an instrument that looked like a draftsman's tool, used it to make other measurements, then drew other lines. Finally he had a template of a oval, placed it high on my chest and traced it on both sides of the centre line. The circles were high, but I didn't question the man, he was the surgeon, and I was sure that wasn't a mark for my nipple's new home!

I got on the stretcher, they put the mask on and I was out. I woke up what seemed like 5 minutes later, however the surgery was 2 1/2 hours. I was very nauseous. I had never been sick on the anesthetic before, but this time it didn't agree with me. An hour later I was taken up to my room, which turned out my lucky day, because I was in a private room!

I was hooked up to IV with morphine, and due to the consistent throwing up, decided to hook me up with Gravol as well. I don't know about anyone else, but morphine makes me very hot. The nurse I had was so kind, she found me a fan, put it on the table in front of me, and blasted it 2 feet from my face and I was happy.

My husband finally found me in my room, I don't recall any conversation because of the Gravol and morphine "speed ball". I must have fell asleep, when I woke up my husband was gone. I was worried due to the road conditions, and text him to let me know when he gets home. He text me back that he had been home for hours!

I was soooo thirsty. I had some ice water, but I wanted a ginger ale, a Popsicle. Every time I saw a nurse I asked - "I hate to be a pain, but do you have a Popsicle?" They said they would check. Nothing, brought me more water, claimed that the budget cuts, don't have Popsicles or ginger ale anymore! wtf.

Hours later, I had to buzz the nurse to put the side of my bed down so I could go to the washroom...turns out I had a male nurse...and all I was wearing was my underwear and a bra..I am sure the poor man will never be able to close his eyes again without the vision of my dimply ass waddling into the washroom, burned into his memory.

I haven't mentioned the pain yet. When I woke up I was expecting the horrid white pain I experienced after my cesareans. Nothing like that. It hurt, maybe the morphine was helping. I felt some pulling, a bit of tenderness but not pain that wasn't bearable...until of course on the drive home...Not sure if the Ministry of Transportation or whatever Ministry it is that is responsible for the condition of the roads, is aware of the amount of potholes between Newmarket to Airport Road....but that story will continue next month.