Saturday, March 27, 2010

March 27, 2009

Earth day today, made me think of a lot of things that have changed over the generations. Now for an hour tonight we are supposed to turn the lights out! I missed it completely last year, probably watching TV, will all the lights were on in the house and the dryer was going with 2 items in it!

I was born in the late 50's. Life was very simple. We had a TV, only black and white, and usually nothing on TV in the mornings when we got up wanting to watch cartoons. The only thing that was on early was Hercules! It was never my favourite cartoon, but there was nothing else on. 'Here he comes Herc, here comes Daedalus"...some reason Newton has to repeat everything. Herc hid a magical ring in his belt and when he needed strength he would put it on his finger and raise it to Zeus to give him strength...that was the 1950's version of 'Precious'.(Lord of the Rings)

We didn't have a remote to change channels or turn up the volume, didn't need one because there was no such thing as satellites or cable, and we had maybe 3 channels. After the 11:00 news there was no programming, just a channel symbol that played a high pitched note...probably to remind anyone that fell asleep watching TV to go to bed!

Later on in the 60's we were bless with Davey and was a 60's rendition of Gumby and Pokey, except there was a moral lesson at the end to affirm the kids faith in God! I don't remember any of the episodes except that the dog (Goliath) could take and always said "HEY DAVVVEY". The dog was the wise one...who knew!

Things were lax in the 50's and 60's...when we went on family vacations, my mother would pack a trunk with every ones stuff, and then we would all shove the seat belts down behind the seat because they used to stick in our back during the long drive to the cottage. Mom made us roll up our windows while her and dad smoked, because it would blow their ashes all over! How did we survive?

My dad drove us to Yorkville one day in the 60's to see the Hippies! Drug smoking, acid dropping, freaks of nature. He wanted us to see what happens if you don't go to school, and what happens to you when you smoke dope! I was terrified. These long haired drug smoking, acid dropping freaks of nature just sat there cross legged, singing, and having Love In's and 'chillin'. How many dope smokers do you see actually physically active? They were all just fried, sitting there after smoking a big fatty, enjoying peace and love. Make love not war. Love the one you are with. Hell no, we won't go. Drop acid not bombs. Dropping bombs for peace is like f*&^ing for virginity. Flower Power.

Now Yorkville is trendy! The price of homes and condos are unattainable, except for the pot smoking, acid dropping millionaires who bought all the property in the 60's, and are now retired on a beach in Jamaica, smoking pot, dropping acid, and lovin' the one their with!

Friday, March 26, 2010

March 26, 2010

As much as I enjoy funny words, I really, truly, absolutely hate some words, and I also really, truly, absolutely hate the misuse of words! Granted we all make typos or spelling mistakes, but when I see an entire paragraph with consistant spelling errors, it drives me nuts!

My cousin Nancy and I used to giggle everytime we heard the word 'moist'. It is a gross word. 'that cake is moist'...ewwwa 'ummm, your meatloaf is really moist!'...omg it's obsene. I hate the word 'Yield'...yyyyeeeeld. I don't know why, it just pisses me off when I hear that word.

Using the word 'seen' without a helper is just wrong. I hear it every day, sometimes from well educated people and it grates my 'I seen you downstairs at the coffee shop' Doesn't that seem wrong when you say it?...or 'I seen him at the coffee shop'...'I seen in the paper that he was arrested for robbing a bank'. 'I seen the movie' ok...'I HAVE seen the movie'......'I saw Uranus'.....stuff like that...there is no excuse for that.

Another faux pas is making up words as you go along...and then generations carry the word on as if it is an actual favourite is 'pritnear'! I am not sure how to spell it, because it isn't actually a real word, but living in the country, I hear it a lot. eg: 'There is pritnear 10 inches of snow out there'...or 'My son is pritnear as tall as I am"...or 'the sky is so clear tonight, I can pritnear see Uranus!"

Thursday, March 25, 2010

March 25, 2010

As you know by now, I have an extremely strange sense of humour, some would say childish, but if you didn't you wouldn't be reading my blog!!! You won't be experiencing literary genius, but it will entertain you...with that being said, and before I carry on with another day of my blog, I wanted to point out one more word that makes me giggle....Uranus....yes, it is a planet...but also a very funny word. It can be used many times for example...someone would say to you "did you see the moon tonight, it is so beautiful" and you say "that's Uranus"....someone could say "look at all the stars!" you say "that's Uranus". Enough is a funny word.

Most of you know that I have a long commute to work. It is 45 minutes each way. It isn't considered long if it was in the city because of traffic, it is just 45 minutes of country driving. I may not have to deal with traffic jams, but I have my own obstacles to deal with.

Winter I have to deal with snow and their farm equipment on the highway going 5 mph (wtf is up with that, like pull over, get the hell out of the way!). I have in the last year missed 3 deer on 3 separate occasions....and I'm talkin' huge honkin' deer with the antlers..not cute Bambi deer. These deer have huge fangs, and pointed antlers...scarey...I have avoided racoons, and I have hit racoons.

Actually, it is kinda a funny story...last spring I was driving home and a small racoon ran in front of me..being an 'excellent driver" (Rainman) I managed to manuver the car expertly, around the little critter. I was thinking to myself, 'wow, I am like Andretti, without hitting the brakes, I manuvered around that little racoon, thinking 'I wonder if the guy behind me was as impressed with my 'excellent driving skills' .....About 2 miles later, and huge racoon ran out...I experty sweared and manuvered, but this time the freakin' racoon kept coming, he didn't stop and cover his eyes like the first one... and thump. So much for my cockiness of being an 'expert driver' and the guy behind me looked a little pisst!

Nothing in my driving experience prepared me for what happened yesterday...about 20 minutes away from home, and small green car pulled out of their driveway in front of me. There was no one a mile in front of me or behind confused me why he pulled in front of me, when if he waited 5 seconds, he could have pulled out behind me...I had to hit the breaks...then he was on the wrong side of the road, then back over to his side (lucky there was no one around coming the other direction) and then hit the side of the road, and swerved back onto the road.

I was nervous and pulled back because I thought he was impaired and was an accident away from killing himself and me..then suddenly I noticed something. I couldn't believe my eyes! This guy had his window rolled down, and was driving with his head hanging out of the window to see where he was going! This moron couldn't take 30 seconds of his morning to scrape the frost off his windshield. Just turned the car on, rolled down the window and drove like Ace Ventura. When we got the the stop sign I was able to get a good look at this loser. There he was, with his arm hanging out the window balancing his pointed little head while it looked both ways before pulling out onto the highway!

I watch in awe and he manouvered and manipulated his car while he drove the highway by memory. In a way I was impressed, that he was comfortable enough to go over 100 kph and not being able to see where he was another way I wanted to get closer to his car to write down his licence plate number, but if I did that I would have had to put my blackberry down!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

March 24, 2010 avenue to talk about's all about me....and nobody can tell me to shut up! First you are probably wondering why my blog is called Tread Softly, carry a big stick! No idea! I was trying to be clever, and was thinking about life, and that is one thing I remember my Grandfather used to say. Not that he was wise, he was usually drunk (fun drunk) and used to tell us when we went for a walk when up at the cottage, that we should 'tread softly and carry a big stick, just in case there are bears out there! He also would stay things like "Open the door for me Richard...but don't close it on me dick!"

Secondly, I am sure you are wondering why there is a picture of Sharon Stone as my profile picture...well, does it count that I took her picture with me when I went to the salon for a haircut? I may not look like Sharon, but I have her coiff.

I suppose that I should make this blog have a purpose rather than blather away. I have numerous random thoughts in a day, usually stupid thoughts, thoughts that you wouldn't expect a 52 year old woman think...I usually post these ridiculous thoughts on Shia Labeouf the name, not the is a funny sounding name..shya laboof...shya laboof. Other things that are random and not really thought provoking...but I giggle childishly when I watch Law and Order and they say 'heinous"...."In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York, the dedicated detectives who investigate these felonies are members of an elite squad known as The Special Victims Unit...these are their stories" snicker...snicker...tee hee hee.

Other things that make me laugh uncontrollably are farts...omg...they are funny. Especially when someone is walking and farting at the same time...People tripping, especially if they don't actually fall and they look behind them like there was something there that was in the way and made them trip. I am very immature, and find when I see someone with their fly down...pfffhahaha that is hilarious! Three stooges stuff makes me laugh. Large moles (I have one don't get offended) but when you see someone like Uncle Buck flipping the principal a quarter to have a rat knaw that thing off...or Austin Powers staring at the mmmmmoooolllle...molley, molley...and then poking it with a that is funny shit!

Well, I don't want to take your entire evening up reading my I will try to think of something more interesting to blog about tomorrow....