Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Twitter and Big Fatties

If you read anything about the Tale of 2 Titties, you will know I have been off work for 2 months. I always wanted to go on short term disability, and such luck. But I have managed to only have to get dressed 5 days out of the 8 weeks I've been off.

With all this extra time, I finally figured out Twitter. I activated the account last year and I felt like I was in an empty tunnel "hello? anyone out there" It didn't seem as exciting as Facebook because there was always someone out there, adding there posts and updates, someones baby got a tooth, another friend is waiting for her husband to come home. Some real, mind expanding, tidbits of information that got me through the day.

So, I started looking into Twitter more, and realized that you are not monitored like Facebook, that you can actually swear and not have to use symbols like "you are an a*" or "I am so freakin' tired" I love to swear. I cannot say a sentence without swearing. I don't even think a joke is funny without swearing. My husband asks me all the time 'why do you swear so much'. I was born and raised in Rexdale, that is part of our Twitter seemed to be perfect to me.

There are also a lot of bloggers, lot of writers, lot of very funny people out there. You can even send a comment to a celebrity, and it is actually the real person (there are exceptions, I will talk about that later). There is a rush when someone follows you. I have sat out in the dirty, messy garage having a smoke, and laughing. The spit water, pee your pants kind of laugh. I have 39 followers, and only 3 or 4 of them are actually people I know. I have numerous friends in UK, some in the US, some Canada. If someone makes me laugh, I check out their followers and check out their tweets to see if they are interesting. I have also removed people from my list!

I used to have the Kardashians, Snookie, and other tree hugging celebrities that drove me crazy. All I received as tweets by any of the Kardashians was to promote their perfume, shoes, shows, and all I read with Snookie was that she is snuggling with her love, and self portraits of her hair and tan. Boring shit. Then I had a few celebrities that constantly tweeted about the air, the water pollution, the world is going to end, there are animals tortured. Now I am as concerned as the next guy, but to read it constantly day in and day out, I was about to slit my wrists or up my antidepressants!

There are always some celebrities that answer your tweets, and there are others that don't. It doesn't matter what you do, they will never answer you. I see sometimes celebrities like Seth MacFarland will reply if he was insulted. I don't want to insult someone just to get a witty reply or be told to fuck off! But when I ask Robert Pattinson if he likes my profile pic (which is him photo shopped beside me) I expect an 'it's brilliant" or "Love it".

Then there are the 'haters'. People out there that have activated an account without their real name, or even using a celebrity's name and they just spew hatred or venom. I asked Norm McDonald the comedian a question, and some freaky hater replied calling me a 'HO'. I showed him...I told him to get a life and called him a 'Mo' - then I blocked him not to fuck with me!

I was trying to find the correct Will Ferrell because there were 5 or 6 to choose from and none of them had the blue verification check mark that confirms this is the real person. My daughter told me to Google it. I found one I was sure was Will, and then he was calling his followers 'shit stains' I replied to him, you aren't the real Will Ferrell, he wouldn't call his fan's 'shit stains' and I told him to get a life...and blocked him! I know what you are thinking, I am one tough lady, I don't put up with any one's is I don't like confrontations so I block them!

So I have many Tweeters that have the same interest as me, who like to laugh, write, blog and expand their minds with witty repartee. We giggle about smoking big fatties, roach clips and how you look like a big loser if you still have one.

I don't know what I used to do with all my time and I don't know what I am going to do when I get back to work!

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