April 3rd, 2010

I probably talk about television commercials too much, and chances are I am probably the only person out there that watches them. I actually love commercials..mega love them (tic). I don't necessarily remember what they are advertising, but I find them truly entertaining. If I was in my 20's and looking for a career, I would have pursued advertising.

There are many vintage commercials that would probably be in the Commercial Hall of Fame if there was one...eg: Plop Plop, fizz fizz, oh what a relieve it is....or....I can't believe I ate the whole thing! who would forget "where's the beef?"....most of the best commercials have some kind of sexual entendres.

There are other annoying commercials about women's sanitary stuff that give the viewer the idea that if they use their brand of tampon they will be able to dance or swim or twirl...climb mountains...as if their tampon has some magical power that if you use them you will have athletic ability you never had before! Like secret tampon steroid! I know that most viewers are not that gullible, but I think we would be surprised.

There are also educational commercials about heart and strokes and warning signs against Alzheimers. What annoys me more than anything when they are promoting something totally non live threatening as if it is some horrible disease eg: yeast infections or sensitive teeth.

Every time I see that yeast infection commercial with that mid thirties woman sitting there whining as if she has some horrible crippling disease "I have a yeast infection!" Grow up, you must have had 10 already in this life time...most people don't even know they have them! You don't even have to go to the Doctor's anymore to get medication...you don't have herpes or cancer, it is an infection of yeast!

Then you get the teeth sensitivity commercial with a nostril shot of a dentist standing in his office with all the official dental instruments, telling the viewers that you may just one day be drinking something hot and cold and get a shot of pain in your teeth! They go on and on about how drastic having sensitive teeth is...OMG people chew it on the other side! Put an ice cube in your coffee...there are people in Africa starving, and you are whining about a sharp pain in your teeth and it isn't a cavity. Or there are commercials for the teeth sensitivity with a woman in her apartment and the entire shot is made on one of her eyes only, and you can see what a horrible job she did with her eyeliner!

I think that commercials are an art. You want to get their attention, you want the viewers to laugh and take notice, but at the same time you want them to remember the product. Infomercials on the other hand perplex me. Why are they spending so much money to lie to us. Why are they so long, who actually watches them. I know we are forced to watch the other commercials because they interrupt the show we are watching, we don't have a choice, but there are infomercials that are 1/2 hour to an hour. Who actually watches them? Someone with one channel? Someone that lost their remote? Someone actually interested in putting everything that is in your green bin into the special juicer and you end up with a smoothy that tastes like blueberries?

There must be some drama in these, because the Sham Wow guy "am I going to fast for ya camera man" was arrested for punching a hooker in the face 3 times because she would let go of his tongue when they were kissing! I guess that is why he says in the Slap Chop commercials "You are gunna love my nuts"